Born and raised in Louisville, KY. My parents (Charles William Smith Jr. & Janeé Lois Douglas) were married for approximately 10 years and divorced when I was an just infant, I was raised by my father’s second wife, Lisa Carol Florence-Smith, and forced to call her “Mom,” which destroyed the heart of my biological mother. Manipulated by my father, I was the sword that pierced my mother’s bleeding heart. Throughout my life, I was raised to believe my birth-mother was crazy, therefore being her offspring I also was called delusional and crazy, especially as my artistry developed. I suppose you should know that as an infant, my stepmother slept with my father while he was still married to my mother. Therefore I was traumatized, being taken from my mother as an infant- for my father got custody of me. I was brainwashed into treating my birth mother as the enemy throughout my life,
Even from a young age, I was forced to create space for a third family and 2 mothers. This expanded love and perception would eventually evolve into an all-encompassing, broad, philosophic understanding of existence later in my adult life.
My late mother was deeply spiritual yet clung to the only religion she knew, misogyny in the church kept her from reaching her full potential. And my late mother’s mind was vastly creative, yet trapped within fucked up religiously dictated, government owned, societal mindfuck approved by an outdated generation that destroyed our natural habitat, polluting, stealing and limiting our resources, enforcing oppression, crippling our potential, bounding our talent, crushing our spirit, shaming our souls, destroying our minds, separating us from ourselves, numbing our humanity, dividing us from each other. After a sub-par life, left broken by myself and my father, my mother died of ovarian cancer in November 2011. She died of ovarian cancer in November 2011. Yet, before she died she told me not to tell anyone I knew her, because she couldn’t accept that the love she yearned for all these years was packaged within a bisexual male.
My father’s mother was an orphan, therefore she couldn’t love my father properly. It left him un-nurtured, and later surfaced as overcompensation in his relationships with women, including forsaking and sacrificing the love I had for my own mother to his new wife. Thru these experiences, and with the oppression of the black gay male- I was brainwashed and traumatized which led to a terrible stutter throughout most of my life. I self medicated with marijuana and found that my stutter ceased when under the influence. Also, with the mind expansion marijuana brings (along with my A.D.H.D. and my spiritual studies) I cultivated a talent for framing all of existence in 30 seconds flat- like that of Ghandi/Jesus. I call myself a unicorn, which is a variable for any marginalized demographic of existence.
My financially stable father, supported and molded the reflection of himself he saw in me, yet targeted my eccentricities. I was emotionally and psychologically abused throughout the majority of my life because unicorns don’t/shouldn’t exist- especially not bisexual, black, artistically philosophic non-christian step-sons.
Recent Comments