2021- A list of DL Conveniently/Conditionally Gay Niggas
As I’ve explained in former blogs, there’s an oppressive manipulation happening to homosexuals from masculine men who “claim” to be straight. After losing my job to a Muslim Closeted-case, then my Down Low (“Closeted”) nigga of the past 3 years filing (and canceling) a false EPO attempting to charge me with blackmail and rape, and another boyfriend pretending to die of Covid… I am noticing a trend:
***In the light Masculine men will lie and gaslight reality to hide the homosexual acts done in the dark.***
(2020)-There’s two types of “straight” niggas that I don’t deal with:
1) The “Conditionally” Gay Nigga: This masculine man will flaunt the idea of sex, like a carrot in front of a horse, to capitalize on and manipulate an oppressed sexuality to their own benefit without any true intent to fulfil. They are “Go fetch me some pussy” type niggas.
2) The “Conveniently” Gay Nigga: This masculine man will reveal his bisexuality when it’s sexually stimulating and hot, but will gaslight you and attempt to disassociate from the struggle thru denial when their horniness has left. It’s an outward expression of their inner confliction with their own sexuality.
I want to note here that- Why would anyone engage in Conditionally/Conveniently gay activity unless they were
A.) Desperate for pussy?
Or
B.) They’re rationalizing their homosexual urges?
Granted most masculine men easily attract women, I’m betting on the latter.
There’s a common theme I’ve discovered amongst masculine men who are in denial about their sexuality- They’ll gaslight you. Meaning, they’ll create a reality where they “didn’t really mean that,” or they “don’t know what they were thinking” and “they aren’t really that way,” and thereby displace all wrongdoing onto me while vilifying my every action and emotion with prejudice.
These types of men fear a reality where they are gay because we’ve all been trained by religion that gay lifestyles shouldn’t exist, especially if you’re masculine because gay is stereotyped and equated to being feminine. So, no matter how much love we have or how deep we connect emotionally or how authentically genuine we are, at any moment a socially conditioned denial and rationale sets in. When this sets in, men are ill-equipped and lack the ideas around homoerotic self-acceptance- I mean, they can’t handle the guilt that societal stigma has burdened us with in its place; at this point displacement, transference and projection happens onto me. By way of inner confliction they blame, demonize, vilify, and target me for “making them” or “taking advantage of them.”
Sexuality is NOT a choice, that’s not how it works. Denial is a choice, but sexuality is not. So I know I’m not about to rape or blackmail anybody, and I also know you don’t just misplace your gay. The only fun dick is a hard dick. It’s walking the line of blackmail, but it’s actually accountability.
So again, what is perceived as blackmail is actually accountability. You don’t get to gaslight me and vilify me for holding you accountable for the lies you’ve fed me.
Although “it takes 2 to tango,” it becomes my fault because I audaciously still have self-acceptance despite society’s negative connotations regarding the existence of people like myself. They want all the reward without the risk, they expect the BEST of me and then cry wolf when i ask for the reciprocity that which we’d initially agreed. It’s like they grant me permission to be attracted to them and then hate me for doing so once it’s no longer to their own benefit. It’s emotional manipulation and a narcissistically convenient flip-flop; never to my benefit but only to theirs because they’re more “normal” than myself, so they think they set the standard even by means of betrayal. And if I level the playing field or match the betrayal- they’re conditioned to think power is within the majority and therefore somehow it’s harassment, illegal, or I’m being unethical. It’s a flex, they are attempting to mimic and demonstrate the Heteronormative PRIVILEGE of weaponizing prejudice. These specific tactical patterns are frequent amongst these types.
Now, I try to be patient with niggas because I know how it is not to be excepted for who you are. I understand that the more masculine you are, the tougher the stigma can be. It’s because gay is associated with being feminine and straight is associated with being masculine, but you can have masculine gay men and feminine straight men- and that’s the problem. Our society tries to fit people into these little boxes and that’s just not the fucking case. So anyway, I understand how difficult it is to be masculine and be judged for being gay so I don’t like outing people- but again I will be respected. I’m a fair person so I wouldn’t blackmail anyone into doing anything, but I will make you sit down and listen to me. And you’re going to treat me fairly or better.
Abstractions exist. Whether tangible or abstract, emotional currency is in fact still currency. So if you steal my emotional currency on false pretenses- on a false contract. I’m going to make you give my shit back. Basically, I’m not going to keep internalizing emotional deficits of being disrespected. When someone steals from you, you hold them accountable. The problem is 2-dimensional or 3-dimensional thinkers don’t believe in the abstract, and that’s why yall niggas ain’t multidimensional thinkers like myself. Bitches.
The gag is conflicted bi/gay niggas are ONLY conflicted when it’s time to disassociate from stigma… or reciprocate affection because we live in a society where masculinity is SO fragile… mix in heteronormative privilege then all of a sudden, they’re “struggling” with their sexuality as a deflection…
Yes there are different types of gay ppl but there aren’t different levels. We’re all on the same level of… well… dick. These types literally think cuz God gave them a HINT of masculinity and ashy dick that they hold a position of power that lacks reciprocity, honesty, or integrity. Much less respect. (PRIVILEGE)… and lord forbid they have an extra inch of ASHY dick cuz then they think they’re some demi-god amongst the gays…when in all actually, they’re just broke, aint-shit, shadow lurking, bitchass niggas.
It’s a common theme upon ALL entitled people asserting privilege, white, “straight,” gay, black, woman, man or otherwise: ***They feel entitled to ALL THE REWARD without RISK.*** My family did it when I was expected to love my stepmother instead of my mother but was banished from the family regardless. All these niggas do it… Women do it…. Shhhhiiit even Whiteman (or black face) Jesus feels entitled to the best of me while simultaneously shaming me…. So you can see why all these lost souls are doing the same.
And if that sense of entitlement is ever breached and the minority sets boundaries or holds these BULLIES accountable, the minority’s (or in this specific instance me, the more outwardly open and comfortable bisexual’s) entire essence is demonized and vilified with prejudice. I’m saying that I’ve literally been betrayed, vilified, and targeted by all these people but me speaking my truth is the UTE most disrespect to them because prejudice. These people CANNOT live in a reality where they’re gay, nor one where they aren’t better than me.
It’s an entire Mindshift of prejudice perspective where any wrongdoing is displaced onto me for being authentically unafraid- for its the opposite of what slave religion taught us- and therefore I [Charles] due to stigmatized prejudice MUST be wrong & stopped. My affection, attention and accountability is then instead seen as predatory, harassment, blackmail. That’s what prejudice does, it’s shifts perception to vilify one’s entire identity.
“Look at that bitch eating crackers, like she owns the place!”
And all along I’ve never done anything wrong, just forced to play a losing game and being emotionally manipulated and assaulted. Yes, a person is entitled to the process of discovering their sexuality. No, they aren’t entitled to shit on others like them that they deem inferior during that discovery process. Their socially ingrained self-hatred and confliction lashes out and destroys weaker individuals who are only seeking love but are less experienced. Less informed. They’re preying on the weak.
2021- I’d like to take a moment to debunk a myth: It is unethical to out anyone. Untrue. For example, we out politicians when they vote against or try and disassociate themselves from the same activities in which they indulge and engage in private. The same goes for interpersonal relationships. I think telling an openly gay person not to out someone is like white people claiming reverse racism or telling a black person not to say nigga.
No, YOU as a heterosexual shouldn’t out gay ppl cause u lack empathy and experience being LGBT+. But more than just breaking up with someone, if a closeted person lies, gaslights, manipulates, claims rape or blackmail and tries to weaponize the justice system against you as a gay predator merely because they don’t wunna be gay no more, or tries to physically gay bash you into silence.
Out.That.Mother.Fucker.
I’ve been bisexual my WHOLE life, and ppl have the nerve to say shit to me like:
“You know it’s wrong to out someone.”
“You know some ppl are targeted and die for being gay.”
THIS IS MY AREA OF EXPERTISE, and in all actuality “outing” someone is a) gossiping with ur friends about you thinking someone is gay. Or b) asking someone if they’re gay. Cuz ultimately, it’s none of your fucking business unless they make it a topic of conversation. So ultimately, yall stay thinking you have a superior moral code, but deep down y’all still ain’t shit. Here’s an idea, maybe you shouldn’t treat people like shit who know your secret.🤷🏿♂️🖕🏿
My truth has always been my authenticity, it doesn’t stop just cuz gay sex is stigmatized. Shit, so is being black and I’ll out a racist in a hot second. This ain’t no different. Argue with yo mammy.
And therefore as a Psychedelic Superhero Guardian, I deem the only solution to level the playing field is to shine a BIG OL RAINBOW SPOTLIGHT on these niggas and OUT them before they hurt anybody else and MAKE them deal with their own issues. Return the demons they displaced onto me back to their source. (i maintain that I am not vindictive nor evil and do not find joy in outing people nor making people’s life more difficult. But if you vilify and demonize gay love and genuine vulnerability, than I will match your energy and return your demons to sender. Detachment vs. Exposure- And just so you all know detachment, like yin and yang, good magic vs bad magic, light and dark. What hurts me is detachment, being left on edge, being left wondering, not knowing, not being spoke to. And what I’ve learned through experience is that…Mix that shit equal parts. (Besides, if I WERE on an “outting spree” this list would be MILES longer than it is.)
So ultimately this is me RECLAIMING MY TIME.
____________________________________
These types have multiple layers of internalized fuckshit (self-hatred & confliction). Usually anti-black and anti-gay as follows:
1) Societally ingrained homophobia/lack of self-acceptance pseudo-validated by religion and fragile masculinity. It’s hating or being afraid of anything feminine,
2) Socially ingrained anti-blackness OR coonery (desperately seeking white approval/colonized by white supremacy/ coveting white partners/lack roots and therefor self-acceptance.) It’s a fairly new-age way of owning black men, If white women can whitewash you and wrap the black male psyche in white supremacy, Then the black male will covet the white woman and set her on a pedal stool, the white woman can then manipulatively “trap” the black male by becoming pregnant and weighing on his consciousness to be an “honorable family man” when there was never anything ‘honorable” about the racist relationship to begin with; they’re by producing racially-ambiguous-but-STIL-racist-offspring that are also colonized and future agents of white supremacy. It’s a more subtle form of BLACK erasure and white dominance. There’s plenty of racist hoes out here that are also mothers, so being a mother doesn’t absolve you from being a manipulative racist hoe… or a hoe in general, for that matter.
***Remember, slave masters also had sex with the slaves too, so fetishizing and degrading black people into sex objects for your racist pleasure- is still racist. It still doesn’t mean they value the HUMANITY of BLACK people.*** Also it’s delusional to think that mixed babies will end racism, because if so, that would’ve happened long ago. Often when these types are in denial about their sexuality, they often find solitude in fornicating and impregnating ANYTHING white. Literally, anything.
(If the photos don’t load, try right clicking them and open the image in a new tab.)
James Walter Mahone III (2017-2020)
Daniel Shelton (2021)
conveniently gay– Met him on grindr, He’s lives in the next neighborhood over. He convinced me to come to his place because his roommates were working. Although I prefer to host because I live alone I still obliged. So we’re sucking and licking and he blows in my mouth without warning. We keep going, then all of a sudden we hear something. It’s his roommate getting into the shower. (I’m sure the roommate heard the gay sex and noticed my size 14 shoes at the door and decided to let us know he was home by getting in the shower.) Looking back I suppose I should’ve left then but I’d never been in this situation before. So Daniel asks me to hide and so I do while naked in his closet… Long story short, I end up hiding in Daniel’s bedroom for 2-3 hours while he watched tv and chatted it up with his roommates before bed. He and I were texting though grindr during all of this. I specifically told him that since I’m protecting him he better not ghost me (because in all actually I could’ve walked right through that living room and not gave a fuck.) Anyway, we sleep together that night because we’re both early risers, even though he’d progressively shutdown emotionally as time elapsed and he felt comfortable that he was in “the clear.” I left at about 6am when he heads to work… Anyway, of course he tried to gaslight and ghost me to say that in his mid 20’s he’s still “questioning” his sexuality. I don’t accept that because he was rock hard when we were together. He ends up blocking me, for he’s feels he’s in the clear now. Nah bruh, reclaiming my time– Well, bout a week later I return in the early AM when I know he’s headed to work and video capture his face while leaving a note on his car explain that I don’t want to out him but I will be respected and that he has a final chance to treat me fairly. He texts me wanting absolution, I still don’t accept that. So now, we’re here. (Edit: Later I’d see him in the mall with a friend, I’d turn and go in the opposite direction… but then 2-3 months go by and now we’re in early 2022. My late night horny tells me to press my luck and message him during a dry spell. Well, his girlfriend answered his phone pretending to be him and started asking questions. I answered and that’s that on that.
-Tyquan Robinson conditionally/convienently bi tendencies (See Blog)
-Jonathan Lane both conditionally/conveniently gay.
Jon Lane was one of the men that approached my girlfriend and I on Tinder. He messaged me sending nudes and masturbation videos, self proclaimed “top” he had the nerve to tell me that if I fetched him some pussy he’d “let me go a round with his dick.” At some point we tried to be cool and hang out at my place watching my porn videos, but he started gaslighting me and doing that narcissistic flipflop where I shouldn’t hit on him. I eventually put him and his bullshit out of my house. Like nigga, why are you even here right now?
-Chris Bunch- conveniently gay –
Chris Bunch Is another one that approached my girlfriend and I on Tinder. A self-proclaimed bisexual comfortable with all but being a bottom, he also sends me nudes and a video. But, after I left my racist girlfriend, he and I were at my spot and he tried to gaslight me and then ghost me afterwards. We smoke, we hugged in friendship and then I never heard from him again.
-Leonard- d Snap: @leo22 – conditionally gay-
Another that approached my girlfriend and I on Tinder. We was down be pleasured by me to get to my girlfriend. He knows I have a hair fetish so he tells me he didn’t have a hairy ass but would get a room to go see her or we could come to his spot. On this particular day Melissa was super busy and couldn’t communicate much in our group chat, he eventually becomes aggressive and homophobic with his words (a form of gaslighting.)
-Brandon Doner (2020)
Known for 15 years, flirted in the beginning but we didn’t reconnect until 2019 on tinder. I topped him. He fetishizes black dick with his girlfriend. Rationalizes and swears he’s not gay because he only wants to see dicks not faces.
-Pav Singh- Spent MONTHS pretending to die of Covid from his fear of being gay. (See Blog)
Will Letke–
Heyman, spent the night at my place. (Platonic friendship with homo-erotic undertones. We often discussed and planned Mfm 3ways, although I had some females in mind, we never got the opportunity because he’s usually away at school.
Late one night we were talking group sex and decided to exchange nudes “you know for the girls” he sent his and I asked if he wanted to see mine and he did. nudes exchange…
Ultimately he would claim brotherhood but would go MIA for weeks or a month. Then, during my mental breakdown, and the pandemic shutdown, and the breonna taylor rallies, I asked to speak with him because I really needed a friend and he just never called me back, but then he passively commented something generic onmy Instagram or rather he pandered something generic during the blm rallies. Something along the lines of “praying for you bro.” That shit pissed me off because we were sposed to be friends.
Malik Logan Butler– (lacks a true identity-internal struggle orphan- bisexual masculinity- colonized,)
I met Malik off grindr, apparently he graduated from saint x a decade after me. He said he didn’t have a car but a moped and didn’t want to drive at night. So I ubered him to my place, round trip ($40), he obliged. He mentioned how he didn’t like beards, but acknowledged it’s probably because he can’t grow one. I was so enamored by his beautiful black skin that I made him cum twice and ate his soul through his ass. Afterward he had a moment acknowledging he’s never had his ass eaten like that before…
Of course he swears he’ll call when he gets in the uber. Eventually I notice he hasn’t responded to my text, so yall know me- you can’t betray me and block me and think I won’t generate a new number. So then he starts vilifying and demonizing me as a sexual predator…. He gets extremem aggressive and says he’ll “Dig my mother up and cum in her mouth just so she knows how a man feels… because god is real.” I was taken from my mother at a young age, raised to call someone else “mom.” My mother died of heartbreak long before she died of ovarian cancer in 2011. Malik Logan Butler has officially fucked up… I’m almost positive he went back and impregnated some white girl.
Justin Robbins-
Met him on grindr in 2017 then again in 2018. Lives nears the waterson and Taylorsville in a house with roommates, he’s an alcoholic that likes to bottom on grindr late at night. In 2017, I didn’t have a car at the time, he convinced me to uber to his residence on Shannon Drive near I-264 off Taylorsville road. Farted in my face and then used privilege immediately after to rewrite history saying “No I didn’t.” degrading and disrespectful. (I’ll come back and add more detail to this story later.)
Qaes Almnsi – Conditionally/Conveniently gay Muslim- (See Red Lobster Blog)
John Coots – conditionally gay-
Met him on Louisville Mojo waaay back when and then later in local political scene. known him for 15-20 years, lots of sexual undertones but ultimately tries to use me for women… otherwise he use’s “friendship” to lead me on. So one day we’re messing with erotic undertones and he ghosts me again- and after 10-15 years there’s no reason to be shady with me. So when I had a problem with it and grew impatient he tried to stereotype me as aggressive or predatory. I told him he’d regret that and should apologize. He discounted me and tried to play on my sanity by asking “Are you feeling alright?”
Ben Dietrich – self proclaimed heterosexual.
This was way back in 2010- but he still vilified and demonized me so I’m adding him to this list. I think I met him through a mutual gay friend. He’d end up soul search and backpacking thru Alaska/Canada? We’d text often throughout most days, we’d flirt, he’d send me nudes. I’d leave to Colorado for 2 years because he returned to Louisville but we still communicated. I gave him my youtube password so he could send me a masturbation video with his “tenga eggs” sex toys… but eventually as all conveniently gay men do, he started ghosting me and when I inquired he blew up on me saying I can’t take a hint and that he was calling the police. I wasn’t as advanced in dl nigga fuckshit as I am now. So this was one of my first encounters with someone vilifying me.
Honorable Mentions:
*Racist White Openly Gays (These types will fetishize and dehumanize blacks into a sex object, and then like dl men, when confronted white gay racist vilify and try and weaponize the police against us.)
Owen Matern – Just a racist gay that lied to get sex from me and didn’t tell me he was in a relationship, then when I figured it out and started holding him accountable, he threatened numerous times to weaponize the police against me. Works at the Louisville Ballet.
*Openly Gay/Outwardly Gay self-Hating Black Gays
2018- Otis Junior – Frontman of a local band called the Jessless. –
Met him on Grindr twice, maybe a year or so apart. I bring him into my home both times, fellate him… I wanted to befriend him, but he letter tells me he’s “seeing someone.” Over the next year or 2, his band and music come across my social media, I “like,” comment and support simply because he’s a black gay artist. Still though, I NEVER receive a response from him, not a hey, how ya doin? Nothing…. So in December of 2020 I’m on freak-twitter. I’m uploading random sexual content that I deem anonymous encounters. Suddenly I get a message from an anonymous profile I follow on twitter- he doesn’t reveal himself but from his request I dicern it was him. Although he has a million faceless nudes on his profile, we were both shocked that we connected again so randomly. He basically messaged me because he felt he could be identified. I was apologetic and understanding, also I was excited to possibly befriend him…. He goes on to say he’s too busy and such, deflects my friendship. I understand…. But then it dawned on my that he never acknowledged me until it was to his benefit… hmmm… that’s kinda disrespectful since you’ve been all in my home with your penis in my mouth… So somewhere between him telling me we had “no strings attached encounters” and myself scanning his twitter profile- I see that he’s messaging and attracted to all white people. THEN it dawned on me, he’s a coon and like white racists he was only using me as a sex object thus is why he felt no strings even as I offered loyalty and friendship. He surrounds himself with, caters to and coverts white flesh. He’s a self-hating negro. So upon realizing this, I screenshotted and documented everything. We fell out because by this point we were BOTH disgusted with each other.
2022- (Unknown) This guy in a minor inconvenience but he’s following the pattern of all these other niggas, so on the list he shall go. Story below the photos…
So, I don’t know this guy’s name but I’m sure with social media it’ll only be a mater of time. Regardless, we leads me on for 3-4 hours stating he was on his way over. He tries to sell me illegal cannabis cartridges, but I decline. During the 3rd hours once he’s 2000 feet away, he never shows up. Ultimately from talking to him I realize that he’s also has deeply ingrained internalized homophobia like (Malik Butler, above.) Both men claim to only like feminine gays and not beards yet still entertain the thought of us connecting. I specifically asked this guy multiple times if he was sure he wanted to hang and chill, every time it was a “yes” but i’ve got to “check in with my girlfriend first and tell her I’m hanging with a friend.” Ultimately after multiple hours of communicating and patiently waiting he flakes and doesn’t respond for 45 minutes although I can clearly see that’s he’s in my neighborhood. He only responds once I threatening him with adding him to this website because all these men think they hold some disrespectful high ground. He then gives me some lame excuses (on par with Malik) about “Not liking beards, and only liking fems, and for me not to call him ‘nigga.” Basically it’s just internalized homophobia and anti-blackness, and I’m the most understanding person but if you lead me on with lies and then flake like you’re untouchable, then I’ll teach you that you’re not.
Jaedyn Hutson – Gaslighting (inviting attraction then villifying said attraction for 3 years.)
Within the current moment I should be finally meeting Jaedyn rather than documenting this so that I don’t waste anymore energy here AFTER 3 YEARS OF TALKING ON SOCIAL MEDIA. (Rather or not if we’ve actually met is irrelevant, because social media is realtime and it’s how I met all these other niggas, and from the beginning Jaedyn could’ve just simply said no… with the respect to him being so young 3 years ago or even today, Age isn’t an excuse to lack integrity. Alot of people try and hide their homophobia behind ageism and villfy me as a predator for being older, it’s just simple not true. I’m not a predator because my adult content (released and unreleased) prove that consensual sex 18+ is the easiest thing for a beautiful person like myself to get.
Actually what stresses me out in all situations such as these are my efforts to be patient, respectful and understanding to no avail, only to be gaslighted with apathy and disrespect. It’s one thing to not be interested, it’s another thing to pretend you are only to repeatedly waste my time. I basically beg anyone I’m potentially involved with not to lie to me because i’ll have a triggered manic response when expectations collapse. Just mean what you say, say what you mean, and do what you’ll say… Anything else I can work with you and your process of self discovery… but repeated lies is still blatant disrespect.
…. I only ask that the people I involve myself with be honest. Self discovery can’t involved disrespecting others, the 2 cannot correlate. Deal with your issues and don’t displace them onto me. I’m just irritated and noticing the pattern of gaslighting with a narcissistic flipflop that’s all too familiar. Involvement is a choice.., but being lied to isn’t. Not for me anyway. Actually with all the other manic triggers in my life, interpersonal intimacy is healing and I deserve love and honesty too.
Okay I first started talking to Jaedyn toward the end of 2019 right before Covid, Breonna Taylor, and my 2020 mental and physical collapse…. We’d talk and text for weeks at a time but he wouldn’t meet me, so ofcourse after a few weeks I realize my energies are being wasted and we stop engaging… Yet, for the next 3 years he’d follow me on social media, eventually I’d ask him why he follows me if he ghosted, flaked and inessentially wasn’t interested.
Overtime we’d go through a series of blocking each other on different social media outlets including grindr. About 2 weeks ago I saw him online on grindr, but he blocked me so I messaged him on Instagram asking him why he’s such an asshole to me… this opened over a week long dialogue between he and i…
I’d been talking to him once again for over a week after once again coming across a faceless profile of him “looking to suck.” I’m not really interested in being fellated but spending time with him could’ve been nice. I specifically asked him not to make plans with me if he wasn’t going to follow through. he has flaked, led me on, stood me up, gaslighted me, essentially lying to me wasting so much of my time and efforts.
So many of these lying ass niggas think they’re untouchable and reserve the right to disrespect others, then isolate themselves while crying wolf about the attention they themselves invited. Just another twisted flip-flopping ass nigga, and now he can either keep his word, or deal cuz im not taking this down.
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